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July 3, 2009
Ordering A Drink
Contributed by The Florida Dude
A very thirsty man goes into a bar. As he waits to
get the bartender's attention, a regular sitting next to him calls out, "I'll
have another waterloo."
The bartender gives the regular a tall ice cold drink and asks the newcomer what
he would like. The thirsty man points to the man next to him and says, "I guess
I'll have what he's having, a waterloo."
So the bartender brings the newcomer a tall ice cold drink. The man takes a long
deep drink and calls out, "HEY! This isn't any good. It tastes just like water!"
The regular bar patron sitting next to him says, "It is water. That's all
I drink," He turns to the bartender and says, "Right Lou?"

July 2, 2009
Doing Your Doody
Contributed by Bruce Bigley
A little three year-od boy is sitting on the toilet. His mother thinks he has been in there too long, so she goes in to see what's up.
The little boy is gripping onto the toilet seat with his left hand and hitting himself on the top of the head with his right hand.
His mother says, "Billy, are you alright? You've been in here for a while."
Billy says, "I'm Fine, Mommy...I just haven't done 'doody' yet"
The mother says, "OK, you can stay there a few more minutes. But Billy, why are you hitting yourself on the head?"
Billy says, "It works for ketchup."

July 1, 2009
Good News / Bad News
Contributed by Anne Harrington
This guy goes into a doctor's office. The doctor says, "Oh, Mr. Jones! We have the results of your test. Do you want the bad news first or the very bad news?"
The guy shrugs and says, "Well I guess I'll have the bad news first."
"Well the bad news is, you have 24 hours to live," the doctor replies.
The man is distraught, "24 hours to live? That's horrible! What could be worse than that? What's the VERY bad news?"
The doctor folds his hands and sighs, "The very bad news is...I've been trying to contact you since yesterday."

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