Tiger has a lot of nice cars - and now he has a hole in one!
Apparently the police asked Tiger's
wife how many times she hit him. She said "I don't know exactly… but put me
down for a 5."
Why did Tiger Woods hit a fire hydrant and a tree?
His caddie wasn't there to help him decide between an iron and a wood.
Tiger Woods apparently is giving up pro golf. He was rumored saying 'My
putting is still good, but I keep driving into the trees..'
Ping just offered Elin Woods an endorsement contract pushing her own set of
drivers. They are said to be named Elin Woods…”Clubs you can beat Tiger
with.”
Phil Mickelson contacted Tiger's wife to pick up some tips on how to beat
Tiger!
I made it out of my driveway this morning, now I can finally say that I can
outdrive Tiger.
Just because you’re the world’s No. 1 golfer, it doesn’t mean you can’t be
beaten by your wife.
Elin's excuse? She had to play a bad lie.
Tiger crashed his car because he was in a rush to move on to the second
hole.
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You Bastard ! |
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Contributed by Howard Meagle
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You Bastard ! |
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Contributed by Paul Conner
What’s the difference between a car
and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.
Elin found out he’s not a Tiger, he’s a Cheetah.
Tiger just hates it when he drives, and then his balls hit a tree.
Elin Nordegren got hired today as a consultant. She’s teaching Phil
Mickelson how to beat Tiger.
Tiger’s confused. Every other time he made a hole-in-one, everyone was all
happy about it.
Tiger said the fault of the accident was his Escalade. It’s typical of a
golfer—always blame the caddy.
Tiger’s car still runs, but it goes “putt, putt, putt…”
What do baby seals and Tiger Woods have in common? Both were clubbed by a
Scandanavian.
Tiger Woods is tree under.
What was Elin Nordegren doing at 2:30 in the morning? She was clubbing.
Tiger Woods has been dropped by Gillette after admitting this incident was
his closest shave ever.
Tiger Woods wasn't seriously
injured in the crash, but he's still below par.
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You Bastard ! |
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Contributed by Walter Peek
Why did Bill Clinton call Tiger Woods
the day after Thanksgiving? He wanted to arrange a foursome.
Tiger Woods finally released a
statement today and admitted he did have an on going affair with at least
one hottie . " I regret those Transgenders with all my heart ."
Tiger said, " I'm glad I am a golf pro
instead of a baseball player because that bitch would have killed me with my
own bat ! "
Tiger Wood's wife Elin Nordegren has
agreed to appear on " Larry King Live " to apologize for the brutal beating
she gave her husband last week . " You know Larry, under this blonde hair,
white skin, and make-up, I'm really just another Chris Brown. "
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You Bastard ! |
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Contributed by Jon Hanover
Tiger gained a new endorsement deal to
replace his existing club head covers with Trojan branded head covers. They
will come in lubricated, ribbed, colored and extra large. As is tradition,
Tiger will of course be using red covers each Sunday at tournaments.
Did you know that O.J. Simpson, Monica
Lewinsky, Ted Kennedy, and President Bill Clinton are all avid golfers?
O.J.'s a slicer, Monica's a hooker, Ted Kennedy can't drive over water, and
Clinton can't seem to hit the right hole! Tiger has the same problem.
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